I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
