I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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