Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Randomize
