Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
