I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
