Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Randomize
