I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
