His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
