I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
