after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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