I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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