I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
