Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
