This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
