I wanna passion pit in your ass
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Do vagina's smell?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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