It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
