talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I met the friendliest cop last night
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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