i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
