Cold hands, warm shart.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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