My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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