I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
