normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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