We named our party play list daddy issues
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
