He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
