So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
