Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
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