this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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