Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
there is puke in my bra ... again
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