But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
