great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
