I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
