Its about making memories worth repressing
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
