i will never coherently bang her
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
