I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
