pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
organizing the empties. That sober.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
