Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
