"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
