Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Blood and glitter go together right?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
