i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
