So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
