1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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