I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
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