ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
