Sponge bath it is.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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