I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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