I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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