omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
