I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
