Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
