I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I forget how to act sober
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