Whod you bang
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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