How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
