I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
