covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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