the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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